Op ed

When spouse becomes a ‘victim’ of office romance

spouseMost times, many marriage relationship challenges are rooted in blessings that are not well managed. Promising careers, good pay, rapid promotion and better working conditions offer tempting opportunities for extra-marital affairs and such can become a threat to relationships and marriages.

Office romance epidemic is one of the many pitfalls of relationships. When spouses find it difficult to draw a line between human affection and natural law of attraction, office romance springs up. If care is not taken, it gets out of hand and leads to negative consequences.

It is not surprising that proximity, travelling together, long hours at work, etc oil office romance. Many spouses spend much of their lives at work and end up sharing more time and intimacy with their co-workers than their mates.

Apart from the fact that this can ruin a very good relationship and turn you into a total stranger to your family, you get to be the talk of the office community. And no matter how you justify it, an office love affair can affect your productivity level.

If you are single but in a steady relationship headed for marriage, toying with an office fling could lead to a life of marital agony, especially if your office lover is aware of your relationship.

If you are married – whether you are happy in the marriage or not – you should never consider office romance as an option. You may think the grass is greener on the other side but trust me, grass is grass whether in the valley or on the mountain top.

Why must married spouses aim at dressing well to please someone at work? Why must you linger in the parking lot hoping that a particular co-worker will ask you out for lunch or take you shopping?

Before you justify yourself and act defensively, ask yourself, “Can I do this in front of my spouse?” “Can I show this text messages to my mate?’ ‘If I’m caught with this co-worker, will I have to lie about our involvement?” If you have to lie about it or not feel comfortable, then it is best avoided.

It is not unexpected for a worker to feel attracted to a colleague of the opposite sex and even harbour romantic or sexual thoughts about them. When this is inevitable and obvious, consider a transfer to a different department or branch or maybe you should outrightly change job or quit.

No job is more valuable than your marriage. It is easier for someone to think he or she is free from an office affair but watch out for these signs.

*You are friendlier with your colleague than your spouse; you day dream about your fellow employee often; you are not interested in being sexually intimate with your spouse; instead of enjoying passionate sex with your spouse, you give excuses.

*You spend less time with your spouse and give up everything just to be in the office. When confronted with the apparent closeness with a fellow employee, you easily say, “we are just friends.” You find yourself anticipating when you can talk to or be with your colleague again.

*You prefer to share deep intimate feelings and problems with your colleague rather than with your spouse under the pretext that he or she understands you better than anyone else.

*You find reasons to give him or her gifts; you are even comfortable talking with him or her for hours and even deep into the night.

*You tell yourself that the other person has a problem and you are the only one he or she trusts to be there for him or her.

*Your colleague seems to understand you better than your spouse does and you can’t wait to hear his or her opinion on crucial personal issues.

*Hiding under the excuse that your spouse is too judgmental, you keep your friendship to this fellow employee a secret from your spouse.

These signs are evidence that you are having an office affair. You may be courting disaster in your relationship or marriage.

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