Op ed

Why is Ibrahim Babangida Running for Office?

ibb_thumbWonders, according to conventional wisdom, will never cease. Some nights ago, I was lying down on the sofa and watching the television. Then this gentleman appeared on television and began to interview people about why “IBB was running for office?” The responses were quite interesting and I present them here.

Prof Wole Soyinka: My postulation is that this is a variety of “Kongi’s Harvest.” Like I said in the book, Babangida “Is sprung from broken peat and we, the rotted bark, spurned when the tree swells its pot. The mucus… is snorted out When Kongi’s new race blows.” It is a season of evil, but may Babangida reap his harvest.

Prof Chinua Achebe: I am surprised, because in 1992 things fell apart and the falcon could not hear the falconer, and mere anarchy was loosed upon the world. The falconer had to resign, I mean step aside as a personal sacrifice. Even Okonkwo could not have done this… in fact he would have opted for suicide. But, perhaps, Babangida is also opting for political suicide. Who knows? Who the gods will destroy, they first make mad.

Majek Fashek: Ever since Jah man heard de bad news, I-man been a-singing to Jah “Send down a-thunder and a-ligthning”. A-thunder and a-lightning to stop de Babylonian from a-returning to Jersusalem. All I-man must send dem crazy ballheads outa de town.

Mohammedu Buhari: This man is evil and he is always running after me. I became Head of State and he came and took it. Now he wants to run, why? Because I ran last time! We should wage a war against such indiscipline! Wahallai tallai! I wish Tunde Idiagbon were here.

Rafiu Oladipo, Nigeria Football Supporters Club’s President-General: Nigeria Football Supporters Club: Ibrahim who? Is he related to Tijani Babangida the footballer? If he is related to Tijani, fine. Tijani was a fine footballer and used to run very fast. But if he is not, he should forget it.

Halilu Akilu: That is da bomb! And we intend to parcel the bomb very well and present it to the electorate. He would explode in their faces like it did to that man from the mid-west. Ha! Ha!! Ha!!!

Femi Falana: If only the great Gani Fawhehnni knew about this evil intention, he would not have died. You know he had several cases against the man and he did not see them through. He must be turning in his grave.

Justice Oputa: That is not the right question. The question is, “should people who never allowed themselves to be tried in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission be allowed to contest elections or hold office?” Such men have refused to be reconciled with Nigerians and are law breakers.

Rev Father Matthew Kukah: This would be the signpost for Armageddon. The problems he caused the last time are not completely solved and he wants to come back. He must be coming back with vengeance. But as a Christian I had forgiven him, but now I am having a rethink.

Chief Tony Anenih: Well, some of my friends want him to run and I am very supportive of him. Others hate him with all their might and would do everything to stop him. But me? I always stand by my friends. That is why I once served in the Abacha regime.

Alhaji Babagana Kingibe: Babangida, ke? I wish it were Abacha.

Chukwuma Soludo: The confluence of economic events in the political gestalt necessitated that retired Generals who have squandered all the money they appropriated while in office come back to seek for more money.

Prof Eskor Toyo (renowned Marxist): Because the external bourgeoisie influences which had pervaded the country from independence had caused the country to develop in such a

fashion that it recycles villains. This is a class war and soon it would translate into a capitalist burnout. So I say to the great Nigerian Workers “Unite!” Aluta continua! The struggle continues.

Ray Ekpu: It is another hollow ritual. Ibrahim Babangida does all that he did, steps aside as a personal sacrifice and now he wants to step back in line.

Dan Agbese: I do not really mind his coming back. But you see how bad he was in spite of the positive influence of his wife. Now that he is coming back as a widower and without any moderating influence… boy he is coming back with murder and vengeance on his mind. I will ensure that all my parcels from now on are opened by the bomb disposal unit.

Olabunmi Cardinal Okogie: Last time he said that only God could stop him. God stopped him. The God who stopped him last time will stop him again. He never fails.

IBB: I am running because I conducted the best election in Nigeria and annulled it. And more so, the youths cannot be trusted.

Augustus Aikhomu: Happy days are here again! I have already told my wife to pack my bags. Babangida is my Lord and Master and my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in Aso Rock and he restores my wallets. Money and wealth shall follow me… haaaa!

Major El Mustapha: When he comes I know that even the lawful prisoner shall be set free. I am preparing for my freedom. It would be a major triumph for all criminals if he wins.

Chief Great Ogboru: If he comes he will not go. How would you expect a man who had no respect for a constitution he made himself to have respect for the constitution made by other people? He is coming to establish a dynasty. That was always his hidden agenda.

Chief Olusegun Obasanjo: I dey kampe! Whether he emerges president or not, I do not care. Have you visited my farm lately? It survived the Structural Adjustment Programme of the Babangida Years and it will survive whatever he does in future. Babangida my foot!

A rude shove from my wife woke me up. I glared at her and wondered why she stopped such a wonderful dream. “Are you just going to sleep here all night?” she said. I sighed and muttered under my breath, “Women they always spoil the party at the climax.”

Anthony-Claret Onwutalobi
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC and CEO of Portia Web Solutions. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websits. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
https://www.codewit.com

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